Sunday, 28 November 2010

I'm not a brat (in THAT way)

Everyone who knows me knows how much I love to play. That being the case, you would think that I would often deliberately 'brat' in order to receive further punishment. That is not the case with me in serious play. When I am in role in a scene, I will never act up in order to be punished further, in fact the complete opposite is true.When threatened with something for certain misbehaviour or disobedience,I will do my best to obey, to in fact, AVOID PUNISHMENT. Most of the time when in a scene I will be as obedient as I can be. Occasionally,that is how I feel like being, I may be fiesty,but this is just natural behaviour on my part, not me being a brat. I have a tendency to suffer from 'verbal diarrhoea,' cases of my 'engaging my mouth before my brain is in gear.' I always know that if I feel in need of further thrashing,then I can ask for it WHEN THE SCENE IS OVER.I can usually find someone willing to oblige........

Birched again

22nd November
For some reason that I cannot fathom I was chosen to be spray birched yet again! This time myself, Ellen,Jean, and Jadie were taken into custody and immediately dealt with by the court. Our crime on this occasion were being Eton students who had participated heavily in the recent student riots. I received two forty-five second bursts of the spray birch from Cate and Leia.I managed to alleviate my feelings somewhat by managing to slip my hands out of the restraints, and give the finger (with both hand), to Mr Allen, who being in front of me provided a good target. Ellen and Jean took their two sets of forty-five and thirty seconds respectively, as well as ever. Then it was Jadies' turn. This was her first experience of spray birching and it was way overdue. She certainly felt both of her thirty second sets, screaming the whole time. I must say I enjoyed watching her, and the smile on Andi Switch's face as she administered.Then there was a 'surprise' for me. I had been suffering from a bit of 'verbal diarrhoea', and had been quite cheeky and disrespectful of the court. Because of this, I received a further two set of thirty seconds, administered by the two judges. I certainly felt those as you can well imagine.

Monday, 8 November 2010

October 2010

I have had a wonderful October.I had a 24 hour,military style interrogation, which involved lots of physically testing 'punishments'.It was a real test of my physical endurance,and whilst I won't pretend that it was in any way easy (which it in no way was),for me it was extremely enjoyable and an experience which I would readily repeat.Many thanks to all on the interrogation team for organising the 'fun.'

I also had a spray birching Judicial Corporal Punishment.I and some others had apparently been trying to pilfer the Eton birching bench from a museum, and were thus sentenced accordingly.Apparently I had also pilfered some Egyptian artifacts which had 'happened to catch my eye.' Myself and the two other 'instigators' received two 45 second bursts of the birch, with a short break between. First administration by Mistress Switch,the second by Lei Ann Woods.The three others received two 30 second bursts.All this whilst very well secured to a whipping bench, as the spray birch is an extremely stingy and painful implement.My tally, you may be interested to know, was 76 strokes from Mistress Switch, and 85 from Dr Woods. Lucky me for going first!As they are respectively right, and left handed both sides received attention.I also submitted to several spankings in the spanking party which followed,after which I practised my switching and endeavored to make certain gentleman's bottoms feel as sore as mine.....

Monday, 11 October 2010

A Domestic Fantasy

Having been away for the weekend, I have got a bit behind with my housework, the washing up in particular. (No dishwasher, alas!) I had a fantasy in which I am made to do the washing up, bottom on display, while the man of the house stands behind me, belt in hand. Each item of cuttlery and crockery, will be carefully examined upon washing. Each time any item fails to meet his exacting standards, I receive a swift and stinging blow of the belt....

Why I feel the fear (but do it anyway)

We've all been there, we've all felt that fear. There's a big scene coming up. A big,intense,testing,scene.Then comes the fear. That feeling that this time, I'm not going to be able to take it that this time I will disgrace myself. I wouldn't want them to go easy on me though........

The fear is bad enough when I know exactly what is going to happen, but it is even worse when I don't know the details, only a few general things., but not exactly WHAT is going to happen to me. Fear of the unknown is the worst type of the fear.The knowledge too, that there will be no 'safe word', no way of making it stop... The key word here is trust. I have a complete and utter trust in the people organising the scene. That though they will push me, and test me to my limits and possibly beyond, they will not put me through anything that I cannot possibly take.

All of this I know at the time, and yet waiting, the big countdown to the event is the worst. Anticipation is it's own torture. The things that I imagine aregoing to happen to me are worse then the reality will ever be. The logical part of my brain does not tell me this. It does not tell me me 'yes it will be hard, and nasty but I will endure, and get through it fine and feel amazing after.'

The fear is still there: disturbing my sleep, making my stomach feel funny, even though I try to banish all thought from my mind of the impending event. Even when not thinking about it, my body still feels and reacts to the fear.

I both love and hate the fear. I love to ride it, to go against it. To fight the feeling that says:'ddo not do this, do not put yourself through that....'

Yet as the scene gets closer the fear changes, replaced by calm acceptance. I will take, accept, endure whatever happens to me. Once the scene gets going, the acceptance becomes easier. Funily enough, my first thought is usually 'This isn't as bad as I thought it was going to be.' That doesn't prevent the fear from coming back the next time though.....

Saturday, 25 September 2010

A Prison Fantasy

Hi,after ANOTHER delay in blogging (someone really needs to spank me for that!)I shall make an attempt at spanking erotica.This is my fantasy admission into prison.

I am shown in to an ante-room by a female prison guard.'Strip!' she orders me in a brisk voice. 'Everything?'I ask. 'Yes, take the lot of.' My fingers fumbling, I hurriedly start to remove my clothes and throw it onto a nearby chair. 'Fold them!' I hasten to obey, arranging my clothing into a neat folded pile,shoes underneath.'Time for a cleanup.' A bar of soap is thrust into my hand,and I am dragged by my arm into a nearby shower. She turns it on and a blast of freezing cold water hits me, causing me to cry out.After what feels like an eternity,but is in reality only a couple of minutes I am dragged out by the arms. I am not offered a towel to dry myself,but my arms are grabbed roughly and tightly fastened into cuffs behind my back. 'Admission time.' I suddenly find myself in yet another room.

A man in uniform is seated behind a desk, attending to some paperwork, he looks up as we enter. I stand there,shaking with the cold as his eyes slowly look me up and down.'Prisoner Montford for admission sir'. 'Ah yes,has she been processed?''She hasn't been searched.' 'Well do so.' She moves in front of me, 'Stand still,and spread your legs.' I obey fearfully, as she moves in front of me. She places a mirror between my legs. Then I feel first one, then two fingers slide into my vagina.They move back and forth,her movements caressing my insides.All the while,I see the man,watching.Shamefully,I feel other moisture then that of the water between my legs.'The dirty bitch is wet'. She removes her fingers, and I feel one start to enter me anally. I wince,as a finger probes me anally. After what seems like forever,the finger ceases its burning search and exits. 'All clear sir' she announces, standing up.

'Hmmm I think, I should check.'he says, rising from his desk.The female guard goes behind me, and holds me by the arms in a vice-like grip as he aproaches. His fingers roughly enter me, feel my insides, slide back and forth rapidly several times before he removes them and slowly inspects them,before drawing a handkechief from his pocket and whiping them. 'Hmmm you're right' he says,'the filthy whore is enjoying this.' 'I'm not....' I interject weakly as a finger goes in to my puckered hole, making me press my lips together to stifle a cry of pain. 'Hmmm, she doesn't seem to enjoy this.....' His finger removed,I gasp in relief, before he brings his fingers under my chin, making me meet his face.

'Well Ms Montford, it seems that you have a lot to learn about here.' He drops my chin, and strides across the room to a cupboard, from which he draws a singapore cane.My eyes widen as he approaches me again. 'There are rules here, a concept with which you may not be familiar.Obey them and we shall get along just fine but disobey.....'He smiles meanly,seeing my eyes transfixed by the cane in his hand. .....'And there shall be consequences, severe consequences.From what I've heard about you you have little,if no respect for rules....' I shake my head. 'Please sir....' 'Don't interupt!' he snaps. 'It seems that they are right, so I think you need a taste of how things work around here.''Over the desk now.' I am hustled forward, made to bend over the desk, as the female guard comes in front of me. 'Don't move.' She reaches for my breasts and squeezes my nipples as I feel him behind me. 'A good dozen should do, I think.' I tense, preparing myself as he raises his arm back for the first stroke. I concentrate on my breathing, I won't give him the satisfaction of screaming. It burns, it stings, each blow aimed for a new spot on my bottom, some repeating, all of them hard. Extra painful, due to my stil damp skin. I hold my position, tell myself it will all be over soon.Trying my best to keep still, any movement on my part straining and causing pain to my burning nipples which the female guard keeps a tight hold of between her fingers, squeezing and rubbing them hard. The soreness and pain to my nipples competing with that of my bottom.'You like that, don't you bitch,' she says, 'shes such a pain slut, she's enjoying this.' Finally the blows and fingers stop, and I think that it is all over and that I will soon be alone to warm myself, stroke my sore spots.

He drops the cane on the floor, I hear a different sound, that of a belt being unbuckled, trousers being unfastened. I try to start up, but hands hold me down. He kicks my legs apart, probes agin and I feel his hard cock pressing against me. I try to buck up,away, but am unable to find purchase, bound as I am.'No,please no...don't...please.' He enters me, and fucks me hard, his body weight pressing me against the desk. He grabs me by my hair. 'All you sluts need this' he grunts, slamming into me. His cock seeming to grow in hardness with each thrust, its thickness and length filling me entirely. At times it feels as if hes going to burst through my stomach, so vigorous are his thrusts. Then he pulls out, throws me onto the floor. 'On your knees and suck.' I lie there dazed as he lifts me partly up and slaps my face, once, twice, as his palm strikes me on each side, making my head hurt and my ears ring.I cry out in surprise and shock. The woman comes, and hauls me onto my knees, holding me in position. 'Open your fucking mouth.Or I'll fuck you up the arse and really give you something to cry about. ' He strikes me again.Wordlessly I obey, and he fills my mouth,grabbing my hair, fucking it, as if it's another pussy.I desperately move my tongue, my lips, trying to hurry him along so that this all will end.'I'm ready', he says finally. The womans hands leave my arms and grab me firmly by the hair, forcing my head up as he leaves my mouth.I know what's coming. As he leaves my mouth and stands over me, I screw my eyes tight shut as I feel a seemingly never-ending shower of cum hits my face.Finally spent, he rubs his cock across and into my mouth. 'Looks like you need another shower.' he sneers.

Thursday, 2 September 2010

Greedy Girl!

I am greedy. I am so full of fantasies at the moment, varying from the dark side of S&M to the fluffy side of spanking. (I see CP and S&M as being two seperate worlds, if at times merging slightly.) I feel an enormous frustration through lack of play partners with which to act out these fantasies-I want to do them all now already!It is so unfair! Patience is not something which comes easily to me.

I have a large tolerance for punishment. When I'm in the right mood I can just demand more and more and more. I don't know where my tolerance comes from, this intense hunger and craving. I feel like a freak at times for it, wonder if others view me as such. I can't help being how I am. I am just doing what comes naturally to me.I do wish that I could cry as others do, I would so love to be beaten to genuine tears. I know that I shouldn't be ashamed of being the way that I am, yet at times.... I am a greedy girl.